All is well

Sorry for disappearing but we've been so busy in the last few days i kept reading and following all your blogs but didn't have any time to post.

We are fine, we are just about to leave Ireland to spend Christmas in Italy with my family and then we will move to Spain for a few months, I will have the baby in Spain and hopefully everything will go as planneed

I had my 28 weeks check last Thiursday and Doc said all is well, my bump is getting big and my ribs are sore if I sit for too long but other than that I'm fine! We are so happy and couldn't be happier. 

I would like to wish you all a lovely Xmas with babies or bumps or a lot of baby dust for next year!

Liebster Blog Award!

Wow! I am honored! I receive this award from the sweet Lexi & Sarah from Ourbabymakingjourney so thank you so much guys! I know you guys are going to be IVFing again any day so here is my wish, I really hope this is your time and that we can be pregnant together ; ) You are going to make a loving family and that's all children need!

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way to acknowledge each other and say "you're doing a great job". It is for blogs with 200 or less followers, so it's also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers!

So now the questions:

1. What is your favorite season and why?

I love them all! I love Winter because I love Christmas and being able to spend time with my family in Italy, I love Spring because seeing all the blossoming reminds me of life and how awesome it is, I love summer because it means holidays in Spain, swimming in the sea and drinking cold beer with tapas and I now love Autumn because of all the amazing colours and because it's my wife's birthday and I love her! 

Since starting my own family I love seasons more because of all the traditions they bring and all the things I can do with my kids, I have lovely memories of my childhood and I will try to give them to my children as well, because that's what life is about isn't it?

2. What is something you cant live without?

I have to admit it, my I-phone. I am addicted to it, I use it for everything, it's great!

3. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

I would love to go traveling with my wife, going away for a few months and see the world, she wanted to do it when we met but I wasn't ready and now I will have to wait until the kids are old enough...

4. If given the ability to change one thing in this world what would you choose?

Honestly, I would like to change the way this world seems to be made for men and for women it has to be a constant fight, especially in some part of this world, I would like the world rape to disappear from this world.

5. Do you have any regrets in life?

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I didn't move away from my family and country but then I realize I would have never met the love of my life and started a family with her ( in Italy lesbians couples have no access to fertility treatment ) So, no, no regrets! 

6. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging because I always loved writing, my first blog was about my life as a gay italian girl in Dublin, Ireland. Then we moved to Rome for a few months and I wrote about that experience and then once back in Ireland I started blogging about our journey to become a family and our daughter's arrival in the world. When I was struggling to get pregnant and I was told I needed to do IVF I did a lot of research and found this amazing strong community of women online writing about how difficult it can be and I immediately felt part of it. So I started this blog, my first in english (I know it's not perfect! ).

7. What is your best trait?

I don't know...I am very organized? I like to have everything under control and I am fast at getting things done.

8. What is your worst trait?

Same as the best, I am a bit of a control freak so if I don't get to organize I find it difficult to just go with the flow...

9. What is your best childhood memory?

Oh I have so many, I love my parents so much, probably one of the best is when going on holidays singing in the car all together. Just being happy.

10. Who are 3 people you would love to have dinner with (living or dead)?

That's a difficult one, I am not a very social person, that's why I write, I don't particularly enjoy chit chat about nothing but I suppose that if I was to have a few drinks I would love to meet:

- Charlie Chaplin I love cinema and I love him, I think he was a genius and an amazing artist

- Kurt Cobain I was a teenager in the 90s and desperately in love with him and his music

- Audrey Hepburn more because I would like to know how she could be so stylish and cute

11. Who is someone you miss?

I miss my mum and my dad and brother in Italy even though when I get to see them for more than a week I just want to run away but I suppose I miss being able to visit them or doing things for them if they needed me.

I miss my sister that lives in Buenos Aires.

I miss my best friends that are now living all over the world.

I suppose I miss how it was when I grew up, so simple and surrounded by people that loved me. I am so lucky to have my own family now and to have them loving me everyday. That's a gift for sure.

So that's it, now you know me a little bit better, I hope I wasn't to emotional or cheesy...you know with the hormone and all! Thank you again Lexi and Sarah, hope you don't mind if I copy your questions for my nominations, I really liked them!

Now onto my Liebster Blog Award nominations!!

1 Growing Griswolds another amazing woman, I hope this will bring you luck!

2 Little one still to come two lovely mamas hoping for a little one, I hope this will bring you luck too!

3 The future Fords She just got her first BFP and I am wishing her all the best and a beautiful baby in 9 months!

4 My TTC obstacle course She overcome all the obstacles and is now 28w pregnant! Yey!

5 Every day is a country song Her story of is incredible, Maria you are a great woman.

6 MissConception  another amazing woman, your story makes me cry every time. I admire your strength everybody should read your blog.

7 A road well travelled we met on the June FET board got pregnant at the same time, she has beautiful twins girls and is now expecting twin boys! You go mama!

I am sorry I don't have 10 but I have a two years old calling me... Gotta go! 

I am so lucky of being part of this amazing community, I love reading you everyday, you are an example of strength and love. Grazie.

Mamma V.

Now here are my questions to all the new Liebster blogger nominees! 

1. What is your favorite season and why?

2. What is something you cant live without?

3. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

4. If given the ability to change one thing in this world what would you choose?

5. Do you have any regrets in life?

6. Why did you start blogging?

7. What is your best trait?

8. What is your worst trait?

9. What is your best childhood memory?

10. Who are 3 people you would love to have dinner with (living or dead)?

11. Who is someone you miss?

Now its your turn new Liebster Blog Award winners, pass the love onto others!!

Ps, if you have been nominated already or if you don't want to answer the questions it's ok! 

Half way and it's a ...

So, here I am, well I should say here we are, feeling better even though still nauseous in the evening but definitely better. 20 weeks, half way through this pregnancy. Wow! How did we do it little one?

We went for our anatomy scan last Thursday. I was so nervous. We were waiting for ages but then a lovely nurse called us. She went through all the little perfect part of your body and reassured me that you looked great! Right on scheduled, actually measuring ahead 20w3d and I was worried my belly was too tiny ; ) At the end she asked us if we wanted to know...we said yes. And...

 It's a BOY!!!

I'm so so happy. I knew from the beginning that only a boy could make me so sick and all them spots there was definitely something masculine growing inside me! DW was hoping for another girl, it would have made things easy perhaps but actually we are now so excited to be dealing with a little boy. I think our daughter is the most precious little girl I've ever met so I'm happy we won't compare her because it's going to be totally different. Because it's a BOY!!!

I think he's smiling at us!

And with this happiness and joy I leave you with a belly shot: 

Happy Halloween everybody!

Still waiting

Yes I am still waiting for the day all the mums are talking about, the one where the nausea magically disappear and the energy comes back and you start to glow etc...ehm. No. 

Not happening here. Even though my allday sickness has definitely improved and now I am only sick in the evening and not as much, I am not puking dinner but I am still kind of queasy : ( I have to admit that I am starting to enjoy cooking again, I am craving spicy indian food and curries so that's what we are eating most of the time. No more spagnettis for a while!

I am still hating meat. I cannot even think about it. I used to be a vegetarian and I started eating meat when trying to get pregnant but since I am now pregnant the though of a steak ...blah. Gross. So I am taking iron tablets and they're great! I got some energy back, bed time is now 10pm instead of 8 ; ) And I can do more stuff during the day.

I am not glowing though, my face is covered in red spots instead. Bloody hormons.

I am still on my antisickness tablets only I cut it to 1 a day instead of 2.

Belly is growing, clothes are getting tight and we still don't know the gender, last night I dreamed it was a little girl, we called her Anna Rose and she had red hair, she was beautiful and she was playing in the swimming pool with Isabella, our first daughter. 

We will know next month, with Isabella I was convinced it was a boy and I was obviously wrong but then I wasn't carrying her, my DW kind of knew it was a girl all the time.

What else? Ah we did the NT scan and we got very good results so I feel more relaxed about it. Sometimes I still find myself praying and worrying that this baby is going to be ok. But then most of the time life takes over and our 2 years old needs me all the time so I cannot really focus on this little one too much, which is a pity because I remember with Isabella we were so into the whole pregnancy journal, belly shots and buying cute clothes. With this one if I get the time to read the notification of what's going on in my belly on the babycentre app it'sa miracle.

We announced the pregnancy last week on FB and Twitter and Instagram, yes, I have all possible apps and I used to be quite connected, I used to...before becoming Miss Pukey, anyway this is what we went with:

We bought the T-shirt from Etsy, here's the link if you are interested.

Love,

Mamma V.

12 weeks today

Everything's good! Or so I hope, I will have my NT scan next week and I am praying for my little one to be ok. We've been in Spain on holiday for the whole month and I have been feling quite miserable even though they gave me antinausea tablets that took away some of my 24/7 morning sickness but still.

Today I am convinced it's not too bad. I'm pretty sure it's because I am hoping that it will decrease now. Pretty please baby. I am so tired of being sick and tired.

I will update more often now that we are back in Ireland, I've so many things to write about, being pregnant, telling people, BO, my hate for Crinone and much more...

Til then here's a picture of when we found out, I'm the one on the right.

The first time I saw you

Today I went for my first u/s. What an amazing little thing you are. I can see you are so beautiful already and I know I gave out a lot but I forgive you for making me feel so sick, if that means you are so perfect that's ok with me.

I saw and heard you heart beating today. So technically I have two hearts now. Yours is so fast, 180 bpm but the Doc said that's good and strong. Yeah baby!

It was all so quick and I was so happy that when it was over I wanted to do it all over again. 

I love you already. Stay with me until around the 14th of March 2012 ok?

Why being pregnant sucks

 WARNING! Hormonal post ahead:

Ok, so I remember when my partner was telling everybody that she wasn't herself because she was pregnant. I get it now. Everybody think that for a woman being pregnant is the most beautiful, romantic feeling ever. For me it's not. And I hope nobody will get offended reading this. I know how lucky I am, I am growing life inside me and it's a miracle and blah blah blah. But the truth is that I am sick. I feel sick and I know I won't feel any better tomorrow, or the following day. This sick feeling is going to stay until al least the end of August if I am lucky. Then I will probably write about how great I feel But in the meantime I am an angry, frustated and 10% version of my former happy self.

I go to the kitchen and cry. I spend all my time in bed. I shut down all friends and family because I cannot face life as I knew it. Because I am sick.

Sorry for this sour post but the truth needs to come out, being pregnant is tough, more than the overdose of hormons of the IVF stimulation and the sore ovaries, more than the Egg Retrieval especially if you have 24/7 morning sickness and you have to listen to Doctors and nurses telling you how there's nothing they can prescribe to make you feel better. But sure not eating or drinking enough cannot be good for my baby can it?

Morning sickness, I hate you.

I love food, I love cooking it and I love eating it, I am italian for God sake! And since last week I can't stand the thought of any food that is not boiled rice or crackers. Yep, that's all I've been eating. Where is the healthy eating gone? Where are the fruits and veg full of goodness for me and my little one? I blame morning sickness, my n. 1 enemy at the moment.

And I'm not even 6 weeks yet! Is it going to stop? Is it going to get worse? 

I am exhausted. And complaining, a lot, which I shouldn't since I wanted this so bad i have to take it and shut up. But in some way I can't think of morning sickness that lasts all day as the baby's fault. So for me, they are two separate things, one I love and one I hate.

My first u/s is in 2 weeks, on the 31st, I can't wait to meet this little one of course!

Dreaming about not feeling sick,

Mamma V.

It looks like I am PREGNANT!

I'm still in shock. I was hoping and praying for this so much that now that it is happening I feel like I am on another planet half of the time!

I went in for my beta yesterday as the happiest person on hearth, I told the nurse I did test earlier in the week and got a positive and she said that a positive hpt on 8dp5dt is pretty good. Yey! When I was leaving I met one of the nurses that was with me since my first cancelled IUI in September 2011, she knows me very well by now and she stopped and smile at me. I knew she knew straight away! She told me she was going to try to get the Lab to ring me back with the result ASAP. I love her.

Funny enough I missed the call. The nurse left a message, I listened to it and she said it was good news and that she would try to ring me later! Who ho! She did ring and told me my beta at 11dp5dt was 574! Holy shit! My first thought after 5 minutes of googleing was TWINS! OMG! We are delighted a bit scared I have to admit but we feel so lucky and if it is twins what do they say? double the fun! And if it is one it's still perfect! 

Now the symptoms. Not much to report, I feel quite tired and need to rest more often than usual, I yawn a lot but then at night I wake up, start thinking and cannot go back to sleep until it's time to get up. Uff... I am definitly eating more, enjoying my food and try to eat healthy stuff. No coffee, no coke and no alcohol. I had some kind of very very mild nausea but if I eat it goes away starght away.

So far so good, my wife and daughter are over the moon and kiss my belly whenever they can. I know it's still early stages, we keep saying 'if everything goes well...' I really hope it will, meanwhile I want yo enjoy every second of this miracle. (or miracles!)

I did it!

And i'm so happy!!! I got a BFP on a FRER! It feels so good, I really hope all will go well, welcome on board little one!

To POAS or not to POAS

After my tranfer I felt perfectly fine, I had some mild cramping but I have been busy organizing my week end in Italy, I flew to Milan on friday for my cousin's wedding and spent some relaxing time with my family. I came back on monday night and woke up on tuesday thinking I could test if I wanted to.

Since then I cannot stop thinking about it. I just want to get it over with, if I am pregnant YEY, if I am not well there's not much I can do about it. I am scared I won't be, I didn't really have any symptoms that are not Progesterone side effects so...

My Beta is on Saturday. I don't think I can hold on till then.  There's one FRER waiting for me in the bathroom...

And they are in!

What can I say, today's transfer went really well, 2 of my embabies are now in my uterus and hopefully will make it their home for the next 9 months.

I'm so tired and I have a bad cough that I hope it will help implantation since I'm not allowed taking anything for it because I'm PUPO!!!

Bed rest is hard with a toddler jumping on the bed but I'm doing my best trying to take it easy.

It's done! I am finally here, there's nothing else I can do than hope 1 or 2 will stick and will become part of our beautiful family.

Thank you for all your lovely comments. I will POAS on the 8th of July which now seems so far away. But my wife doesn't want me to go into the POAS craze!

Nearly there

So here I am hoping that my embabies are growing nicely and getting ready for my tranfer on tuesday. I am not feeling great, I have a sore throat but hopefully it will be gone by Tuesday.

Not much to report, I am keeping busy with my daughter and reading other blogs, the plan is to tranfer on Tuesday at 4pm which is good so I can still go to work and just leave early and I took Wednesday off, I bought pineapple and brazilian nuts, I plan to soak my feet in hot water once a day and I downloaded the first Hunger Games on my Kindle and plan to read in bed, I don't remember the last time I did that, now we are so tired that when we go to bed we fall asleep straight away. 

So I am super ready, I feel ready, I really want this. I really want this to work. Finger crossed everything will go well this time.

Apparently my lining is just perfect

And I couldn't be happier! Today was my last u/s before the FET and the nurse was very happy with me. I can stop with the Buserelin injections (yey) and will start the progesterone on thursday. Apparently tomorrow I should receive a call from the Lab about my embryos, from what I understood they are going to thaw them all (my 13 emababies) and will grow them to blastocyst (day five) and then transfer. The nurse told me that not all of them will get to the day 5 stage but I really hope we will have at least two to tranfer next tuesday!

So my embabies are on my mind all the time now. It's just so amazing to think that they can do that.

Waiting and waiting

Not much to report, just to say that my lining is good, just above 8 (mm I think) and the nurse was happy with that. No change to the mediacation until next tuesday when I will go back in for one last u/s and then FET is scheduled for the 26 of this month. Less than two weeks to my tranfer!

Now all I can think of is should I take time off work? Bed rest yes or no? I asked the nurse today and she said no bed rest, just take it easy but nearly all of you guys are on bed rest for at least 2 days after transfer.

oooohhhhhh...I will see, I might talk to my RE about it.

Nearly there

Tomorrow is my second baseline u/s and I hope all is well down there, I am injecting less buserelin this week and didn't have any headaches, I started taking Estrofem last thursday and I'm still not sure if there is a connection but on friday I developed some kind of rash in my mouth, on the gums and the intern of my lips, very weird not painful but quite annoying. Anyway I rang my RE and she thinks it's got nothing to do with mediactions so I just waited patiently for it to go away and today it's nearly gone. Yey for me keeping calm!

I am so happy about Christine BFP this evening! Congratulations girls! You did it!!!

Will be back with more news tomorrow after the appointment.

Headaches and bad mood

I know the title is not really positive but just to let you know today I am actually doing ok, the past fews day I woke up with a headache and went to bed with an headache, It has been quite a nightmare, I also felt really tired all the time and every little thing was annoying me. Side effect of the Buserelin injections apparently.

On top of all that today was my first u/s to check my lining and my ovaries. They left me in the waiting room for so long I was going to ask them if I could leave I was so mad at them. (bad mood is another side effect of Buserelin). Finally the nurse called me in, she was the one the was looking after me when I had OHSS so she was delighted to see me. I was too nervous to even smile.

First she checked my lining and said it looked good. Yey! Then she went on my right ovary and found some fluid near it. I felt sick, oh no I thought, but then she went on saying it was ok, nothing to worry about. She also found a 10mm follicle probably leftover from IVF#1. Then she went on my left and I was really worried because for the past 2 days I had a pain in my right ovary but she said everything looked fine! Oh, what a relief!

So today I started my Estrofem and Aspirin and from tomorrow I will reduce the Buserelin from 0.5 to 0.3, hopefully that means less side effects.

I will go back next thursday for another u/s, the countdown has officially started. 19 days till my FET. I can't wait!!!

not much to report

Things are pretty quiet here, I'm still on the BCP, I will take the last one on saturday. I can't wait to stop having headaches and mood swings, I hate BCP, actually I think I hate all the TTC medications. I started my Buserelin injection last monday and they are not too bad. I choose the injections instead of the nasal spray because they said that nasal spray could give headaches and sinus problems. So no way. Injections are fine, I'm so used to them and so is my poor belly.

I will go for a u/s on thursday to check that everything is ok but that's all.

Not much happening, I have to wait until the end of June for some excitement, until then I can worry about so many things like will I get to the tranfer this time? Will my embryos thaw nicely? will they get to day 5? How many will they thaw? Should I take time off work and stay in bed the following day?

I know I am a worrier. Great that DW is quite the opposite, that's probably why she got pregnant at 36 on her third IUI with only 1 follicle. Lucky girl : )

Well I'm kind of glad she did, our daughter is just the most amazing thing we've ever done. And that's why we would like another one, for her to grow up with a brother or a sister and for us to know she's not on her own. Having two mothers is going to be challenging. Even if the world is changing she will have to face bigotry and hate. It will be nice if she could have somebody with her apart from her moms.

That's my little girl

and we have a FET plan.

Great! I'm so excited finally the nurse from the clinic rang this morning with dates for my FET cycle. So I will be on the pill until the beginning of June and will start injections (don't remember the name) on the 28 May for 3 weeks the I will have 3 ultrasound in the middle of June and if everything looks good I will have the transfer on the 26 June!!!

Now finger crossed everything will go well. I am happy because there is definitely less medications, less pressure, less work for my poor ovaries. I just have to hope my body is ready for my little embryos and that they will thaw ok and grow.

After ER I had 13 embryos frozen on day 1. So the nurse told me they will thaw all of them and grow them hopefully to day 5. Then they will choose the best 2 and tranfer them. I can't wait to have them back.

What are your thoughts on 2 slash 1 embryo transfer? At my clinic they like to tranfer 2 at a time because they say there is more probability of success. I wasn't sure and I wanted to talk to the embryologist about tranferring only 1 considering that it is my first transfer and apparently I don't have any fertility issue (just bad luck) but after reading about it and talking to DW I decided to go for 2 embryos tranfer. 

If we have twins it means it was meant to be. If we get pregnant with one we will be as happy. I have to say twins kind of scare me, we are living abroad, our family are far and so we don't get much support but I guess we will have to manage! I always wanted a big family anyway ; )

Well all this "if" I get pregnant...

Positive thinking. Positive thinking. Positive Thinking. 

I should start meditation.

Still waiting

Here I am still waiting for the nurse to give me dates for my FET. I rang her twice this week only to hear that she was very busy and didn't have the time and that she would get back ASAP. I wonder what how long will it take for her to decide when will I stop the BCP and go for a few scan and hopefully do my FET : )

I will try not to think about it. In the meantime my boobs are already starting to be sore and I'm quite moody. 

TGIF

Happy weekend!

All good down there

So I went to the Clinic today for an U/S, the nurse was delighted to see that all is back to normal, no pockets of fluid, no oversized ovaries, nice lining, oh thatk's God I'm so relieved.

So from today I'm back to the BCP for a couple of weeks, they will ring me tomorrow or wednesday with dates for my FET cycle, it's funny how much I can learn in a few days, before the ER I didn't even know what a FET was. Still I'm not too sure about the protocol, apparently they will help my lining even though I don't think it needs any help and they will give an injection or something.

Well, I'll wait for the call and ask more questions.

That's all for now, I can't wait to start again. Finger crossed this is going to be the one.

My unexpected OHSS

It's time to write about what happened 2 weeks ago. After the last scan before eggs collection everything looked well, I told the nurse my ovaries felt tender and I was basically quite uncomfortable but she told me it was normal considering I had 13 follicles on my right ovary and about 8 on the other one. 

So egg retrieval was scheduled for the 1st of May, I was asked to take that day and the following off work and even though it was so difficult to lie I told my Manager I had to have surgery on my ovaries to remove a cyst. I just don't feel comfortable telling her the truth.

On the day of ET we left our little girl with the nanny and went to the clinic, while I was waiting I was smiling and joking even though I was very nervous about the procedure, I never had sedation before...

Anyway I said goodbye to E. and went into theatre. I remember the nurse asking me a few questions while the doctor was inserting the IV into my arm, I remember asking him if we were going for a 5 days transfer or a 3 days and he said 5, so I asked if it was going to be on sunday and he said oh yes we work everyday here, we have no life! I remember answering "but you give life!" And with that I was gone.

I woke up in the recovery room, E. was there, I remember being very sleepy but no pain at all. I asked the nurse if everything went well and she said yes and that the doctor would come to talk to me. 

The doctor came and told me they were very happy because they got 20 eggs, but unfortunately they were going to freeze them all because I was at high risk of OHSS.

Then my world collapsed. All the stress, waiting, hoping it would all be done in 5 more days and yet again I wasn't going to have the transfer. After canceling IUIs because I had too many follicles and starting IVF because of that I still wasn't going to do it. Arghhhhhhh!!!

I got very upset, E. was quite mad at the doctor for not telling her before when she asked if everything was ok. I tried to get up but felt really dizzy and had to stay in the clinic for 3 more hours before being able to get up. 

I only drank a glass of water and got sick on the way home in the car. Went to bed straight away and slept until the following day when the OHSS symptoms started.

I woke up feeling ok, I got up to go to the bathroom and oh God I was sore, all my abdominal area was hurting like I did 1500 sit ups and I couldn't walk properly. Peeing was sore but I was told to drink a lot of water, milk and gatorade and monitor my urine to make sure there was no fluid building up in my abdomen.

So I spent the day between the sofa, the fridge and the toilet. Google was my friend and enemy, I couldn't help reading all the worst case scenario and seeing myself not being able to breath and in the hospital. (I know I am very tragic)

The following day I went to the clinic for a scan, my ovaries were still quite swollen and the nurse found 2 pockets of liquid in my abdominal cavity. Panic. What now I asked? She said they might have to drain it in theatre. Noooooooo. Not again.

After consulting with the doctor she told me they were not too concerned and to keep drinking and to keep monitoring urine and weight. So I did. Went home and drank until I couldn't anymore.

The following day I was in less pain but nausea came. I couldn't eat or drink anymore, I started having issues with ending a breath, I don't know how to explain but it's like I couldn't breath properly in order to do it I had to keep yawning all the time. My abdomen and belly felt very bloated and I was ok only in bed. So I watched 'contagion', ahaha, bad choice for an hypochondriac eh!

Anyway I started feeling better on the sunday night, 6 days after, I didn't go back to work until monday and today i still feel tired but since I got my period I've got a sense of relief. Now I only hope my poor ovaries will go back to normal and that I got rid of the extra liquid in my abdomen.

I know I only had a mild case of OHSS but still it has been a nightmare and in fairness it was unlucky but I am happy my doctor decided to cancel my transfer. If I was to get pregnant I know my symptoms were going to get pretty serious and I could have end up in hospital, not a nice way to start a pregnancy.

So now I'm waiting again, I'm going to lie to my boss again and it feels awful but I don't have any other solution at the moment. TTC is something so personal and being italian I am also quite superstitious so if one day I will be pregnant I won't say anything until the 12 weeks mark.

So this is my OHSS story, it ended well, I am ok now but I hope that if any of you will have to experience it you'll be prepared and everything will be ok.

Happy to see you, AF.

So after the egg retrieval I was expecting my period to be late but instead it came a week early! Yey, I was so happy this morning even though the cramping was killing me. Now the problem was that I was suppose to go in for a scan to make sure my ovaries are back to normal after OHSS on day 1 in order to start BCP straight away. But today is Saturday! So at my clininc they only answer the phone to emergencies!

I left three messages. On the third one I told them I was going to start BCP anyway. So the nurse rang me back. She told me there is no need to start straight away I can start on day 3 or 4 so I will go in on monday and hopefully my ovaries will look ok and they will give me dates for my FET.

Oh this waiting game is so cruel. It's not even the waiting it's being scared that things won't go your way.

where to start

I finally decided to start this TTC blog after I've been obsessing over all the TTC blogs on the net for the past year. I'm V. and this is my story.

I have been TTC for the past year with very little results but you can read that in my TTC Timeline.

I am happly married to my spanish wife and in 2010 we were blessed by the arrival of our beautiful daughter  conceived by my wife through IUI with donor sperm. I know we were very lucky but we really feel we should give her a sibling and we are doing our best to make it happen.

I am not a very patient woman and this process has been hard and sometimes emotionally draining. But I am trying to be strong and hope for the best. It is not over yet. So here we go!