Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Hugo's birth story

So as you probably remember I was due to be induced on the 26th of March, on the night before induction my contractions started! I was so happy, even though they were 20 minutes aparts and not too strong I was delighted my body started on its own and I was hoping to avoid the oxitocine.

So in the morning we went to the hospital where I got checked and the Doc was happy to tell me I was nearly 3cm dilated! They did put something in my v. to help with dilatation and left me and E. to wait.

Immediatly I started feeling the contractions getting closer and stronger, I could only sit on the birth ball while E. was massaging my back.

After an hour I was told I was 4cm and could have an epidural if I wanted. I discussed it with E. coz I knew I could keep going without it but then I also knew my boy had a big head so I decided to go for it!

Ooooohhhh the relief! Amazing. I could't feel a thing. We were napping, listening to music, singing to our little one and chatting to the lovely midwife we had.

It felt so good, so relaxed, E. kept saying that is the best labour one can wish for! only an hour of contractions!!! I kept saying, wait! It's not over yet...As if I knew what was to come!

7 hours later I was fully dilated and ready to push, I could feel pressure and they told me I was doing so well, after an hour of pushing they could see the head and I could definitly feeling the pressure down in my bottom!

But Hugo didn't want to come out, I pushed for a total of 3 hours but he kept going back up.

Then it was madness. Suddenly I had 2 doctors with their hands in me trying to move the baby's head without success, I was so tired and sore. They decided to try the ventouse. They had E. out of the room and there I was pushing with a Doc pushing my belly and another one pulling my baby out. 

At the fourth push the head was out, and then came the body, I was screaming in pain even with the epidural!
They placed Hugo on my chest and I knew he was ok! He was perfect! I was happy. In shock but happy.

They weighed him, 4.300kg, a very big baby, with a big head that decided to come out with his hand on his forehead! that's why it was so hard!

They had to perform an episiotomy and I had some tearing as well. Then the placenta didn't want to come out, another hour of pushing, I felt like fainting, I lost lots of blood and ended up needing a blood transfusion. The first night was hard, I couldn do anything I was in shock and weak.

In the morning I felt better, got my baby and started him on my breast. He made me forget all the pain!

Today, 3 weeks later, I am still recovering. I don't feel like myself but I know time will heal me. Baby Hugo is amazing and we are in love. It was all worth it!!!

Friday, 29 March 2013

He's here!

Baby Hugo Oliver born on the 26th of March 2013 at 6.55 pm after a quiet labour but a very hard delivery. I am recovering and will write his birth story when I will feel better. Little Hugo is doing well, I trying to breastfeed and I am a bit overwhelmed by all of it but my girls are helping.
Thanks for the lovely wishes.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013


Just to let you all know, I am still pregnant! This is all quite frustrating since we are really looking forward to meet this little guy! We are all tired of waiting around and being asked if I gave birth by everybody! I am like Hello can you not see the huge bump?!?
In fairness I am feeling ok, better than in the 1st and 2nd trimester would you believe it? All day sickness really killed me, at least now I can eat whatever I want and enjoy it! I can go for long walks, I am reading a lot (thanks pregnancy insomnia!) and watching movies. And of course I am waiting...and thinking, and I am a bit scared (remember this baby has a big head!) but have a good feeling about giving birth, so trying to be as positive as I can!
So no contractions, no signs of labour whatsoever, I sat on chair today and it broke! Suddenly I was on the floor!!! Maybe that will bring on labour???

Monday, 25 February 2013

Maternity Pictures

I don't know if i mentioned that my lovely wife is also a great photographer so we had to have a preggo photoshoot before this boy comes out, here are some of the pics she took. I really like them!

Monday, 18 February 2013

Quick update

While all the blogmamas I read are having their babies or getting pregnant which by the way it's great, I'm still here, at 36 weeks, tired, anxious and complaining. 
I have to say I can't wait for this baby to be out in the world, being pregnant it's not my thing, I didn't know it before, now I do. I am such an anxious and sometimes weak person to go through all this on my own, because that's how I feel. Until this baby is with me I feel like the only one responsable and that scare the s*** out of me.

Now with the real update, went for my 36w scan, baby is fine, still huge head, off the charts, still with some fluid in one of his kidneys, my poor boy, fluid is now 16mm so they want to see me at 37w and then decide what to do. They might induce me then. 

I have to say I will be happy to be induced at this point, I want to see this baby and make sure he is healthy and if he needs anything the Doctors can look after him in a way I know I cant. They told me they will monitor his kidney once he is out so we will see. The good news is that his other kidney is fine hurray! Plus I have to say that if the head keeps growing it probably won't fit through the birth canal. Scary shit. So here's for a short and painless induced labour and a happy healthy baby boy!

I can't wait to meet him, see what he looks like and start this new adventure together with my beautiful daughter and my amazing wife.

Picking oranges with my daughter. Love Spain.

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

31 weeks and why am I such an anxious person.

Hi, finally we starting to settle in our new apartment in Spain, we decided to move here for a while for different reasons one of them being the fact that we will be able to register my baby as both mine and Eva, like our daughter. In Ireland this would't be possible.

The move was far from easy and we are still waiting for all our staff to get here from Ireland. With my nesting instinct kicking in this is really hard. But we will get there. We still have two months (I hope ) before this baby arrives.

So I went for a scan last week just to check everything was ok, I am feeling great this days, no more sickness, no tiredness since I stopped working, all seemed really good. Well, it's not. 

The OB saw a pocket of fluid in one of the baby's kidney. Imagine me. I was in shock. She explain it can happen especially with boy and it might go away or if it doesn't we will have to keep him monitored after birth and he will have to take antibiotics and bla bla bla. It's not a bad thing but I am a worrier so. I really hope it will resolve itself.

Then she started measuring and she told me: OMG this baby has a huge had. I thought I could.t breath. I asked what did she mean and she said the DBP measured in the 90 percentile, 4 weeks ahead of the rest of the body. I was scared. She then said we don't know how big was the donor (I just know he was very tall) so he might have got the big head from him.

Anyway she said to go back in 2 weeks and to keep both things monitored. She didn't seem to worried but I work with people with disabilities and I worry a lot. It's my baby and at the anatomy scan I was told everything was ok, I wasn't certainly expecting to be told this.

So I went home and went into a Google craze. I found women with perfectly healthy babies with big heads but other things as well, I didn't sleep for a couple of nights. I was exhausted. Then I decided to try and stop worrying. This is my baby and I have to be positive and just pray that it will be fine, if it's not, I will worry then.

So now I feel so connected to him, I love him even more because I realize how important this little one is for me, for Eva and for Isabella. We are a family and that's the greatest thing that happen to me. I love them so much.

Sunday we went to the beach, it was beautiful. I really hope everything will be ok. Congratulations to all the BFPs and the new arrivals! It makes me so happy to read good news. And to those still waiting I'm sure the time will come! Baby dust to all!

Saturday, 22 December 2012

All is well

Sorry for disappearing but we've been so busy in the last few days i kept reading and following all your blogs but didn't have any time to post.

We are fine, we are just about to leave Ireland to spend Christmas in Italy with my family and then we will move to Spain for a few months, I will have the baby in Spain and hopefully everything will go as planneed
I had my 28 weeks check last Thiursday and Doc said all is well, my bump is getting big and my ribs are sore if I sit for too long but other than that I'm fine! We are so happy and couldn't be happier. 

I would like to wish you all a lovely Xmas with babies or bumps or a lot of baby dust for next year!

Sunday, 4 November 2012

Liebster Blog Award!

Wow! I am honored! I receive this award from the sweet Lexi & Sarah from Ourbabymakingjourney so thank you so much guys! I know you guys are going to be IVFing again any day so here is my wish, I really hope this is your time and that we can be pregnant together ; ) You are going to make a loving family and that's all children need!

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way to acknowledge each other and say "you're doing a great job". It is for blogs with 200 or less followers, so it's also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers!

So now the questions:

1. What is your favorite season and why?

I love them all! I love Winter because I love Christmas and being able to spend time with my family in Italy, I love Spring because seeing all the blossoming reminds me of life and how awesome it is, I love summer because it means holidays in Spain, swimming in the sea and drinking cold beer with tapas and I now love Autumn because of all the amazing colours and because it's my wife's birthday and I love her! 
Since starting my own family I love seasons more because of all the traditions they bring and all the things I can do with my kids, I have lovely memories of my childhood and I will try to give them to my children as well, because that's what life is about isn't it?

2. What is something you cant live without?

I have to admit it, my I-phone. I am addicted to it, I use it for everything, it's great!

3. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

I would love to go traveling with my wife, going away for a few months and see the world, she wanted to do it when we met but I wasn't ready and now I will have to wait until the kids are old enough...

4. If given the ability to change one thing in this world what would you choose?

Honestly, I would like to change the way this world seems to be made for men and for women it has to be a constant fight, especially in some part of this world, I would like the world rape to disappear from this world.

5. Do you have any regrets in life?

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I didn't move away from my family and country but then I realize I would have never met the love of my life and started a family with her ( in Italy lesbians couples have no access to fertility treatment ) So, no, no regrets! 

6. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging because I always loved writing, my first blog was about my life as a gay italian girl in Dublin, Ireland. Then we moved to Rome for a few months and I wrote about that experience and then once back in Ireland I started blogging about our journey to become a family and our daughter's arrival in the world. When I was struggling to get pregnant and I was told I needed to do IVF I did a lot of research and found this amazing strong community of women online writing about how difficult it can be and I immediately felt part of it. So I started this blog, my first in english (I know it's not perfect! ).

7. What is your best trait?

I don't know...I am very organized? I like to have everything under control and I am fast at getting things done.

8. What is your worst trait?

Same as the best, I am a bit of a control freak so if I don't get to organize I find it difficult to just go with the flow...

9. What is your best childhood memory?

Oh I have so many, I love my parents so much, probably one of the best is when going on holidays singing in the car all together. Just being happy.

10. Who are 3 people you would love to have dinner with (living or dead)?

That's a difficult one, I am not a very social person, that's why I write, I don't particularly enjoy chit chat about nothing but I suppose that if I was to have a few drinks I would love to meet:
- Charlie Chaplin I love cinema and I love him, I think he was a genius and an amazing artist
- Kurt Cobain I was a teenager in the 90s and desperately in love with him and his music
- Audrey Hepburn more because I would like to know how she could be so stylish and cute

11. Who is someone you miss?

I miss my mum and my dad and brother in Italy even though when I get to see them for more than a week I just want to run away but I suppose I miss being able to visit them or doing things for them if they needed me.

I miss my sister that lives in Buenos Aires.

I miss my best friends that are now living all over the world.

I suppose I miss how it was when I grew up, so simple and surrounded by people that loved me. I am so lucky to have my own family now and to have them loving me everyday. That's a gift for sure.

So that's it, now you know me a little bit better, I hope I wasn't to emotional or know with the hormone and all! Thank you again Lexi and Sarah, hope you don't mind if I copy your questions for my nominations, I really liked them!

Now onto my Liebster Blog Award nominations!!

Growing Griswolds another amazing woman, I hope this will bring you luck!
2 Little one still to come two lovely mamas hoping for a little one, I hope this will bring you luck too!
3 The future Fords She just got her first BFP and I am wishing her all the best and a beautiful baby in 9 months!
4 My TTC obstacle course She overcome all the obstacles and is now 28w pregnant! Yey!
5 Every day is a country song Her story of is incredible, Maria you are a great woman.
6 MissConception  another amazing woman, your story makes me cry every time. I admire your strength everybody should read your blog.
7 A road well travelled we met on the June FET board got pregnant at the same time, she has beautiful twins girls and is now expecting twin boys! You go mama!

I am sorry I don't have 10 but I have a two years old calling me... Gotta go! 

I am so lucky of being part of this amazing community, I love reading you everyday, you are an example of strength and love. Grazie.

Mamma V.

Now here are my questions to all the new Liebster blogger nominees! 

1. What is your favorite season and why?
2. What is something you cant live without?
3. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
4. If given the ability to change one thing in this world what would you choose?
5. Do you have any regrets in life?
6. Why did you start blogging?
7. What is your best trait?
8. What is your worst trait?
9. What is your best childhood memory?
10. Who are 3 people you would love to have dinner with (living or dead)?
11. Who is someone you miss?

Now its your turn new Liebster Blog Award winners, pass the love onto others!!

Ps, if you have been nominated already or if you don't want to answer the questions it's ok! 

Monday, 29 October 2012

Half way and it's a ...

So, here I am, well I should say here we are, feeling better even though still nauseous in the evening but definitely better. 20 weeks, half way through this pregnancy. Wow! How did we do it little one?

We went for our anatomy scan last Thursday. I was so nervous. We were waiting for ages but then a lovely nurse called us. She went through all the little perfect part of your body and reassured me that you looked great! Right on scheduled, actually measuring ahead 20w3d and I was worried my belly was too tiny ; ) At the end she asked us if we wanted to know...we said yes. And...

 It's a BOY!!!

I'm so so happy. I knew from the beginning that only a boy could make me so sick and all them spots there was definitely something masculine growing inside me! DW was hoping for another girl, it would have made things easy perhaps but actually we are now so excited to be dealing with a little boy. I think our daughter is the most precious little girl I've ever met so I'm happy we won't compare her because it's going to be totally different. Because it's a BOY!!!

I think he's smiling at us!

And with this happiness and joy I leave you with a belly shot: 

Happy Halloween everybody!

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Still waiting

Yes I am still waiting for the day all the mums are talking about, the one where the nausea magically disappear and the energy comes back and you start to glow etc...ehm. No. 

Not happening here. Even though my allday sickness has definitely improved and now I am only sick in the evening and not as much, I am not puking dinner but I am still kind of queasy : ( I have to admit that I am starting to enjoy cooking again, I am craving spicy indian food and curries so that's what we are eating most of the time. No more spagnettis for a while!

I am still hating meat. I cannot even think about it. I used to be a vegetarian and I started eating meat when trying to get pregnant but since I am now pregnant the though of a steak ...blah. Gross. So I am taking iron tablets and they're great! I got some energy back, bed time is now 10pm instead of 8 ; ) And I can do more stuff during the day.

I am not glowing though, my face is covered in red spots instead. Bloody hormons.

I am still on my antisickness tablets only I cut it to 1 a day instead of 2.

Belly is growing, clothes are getting tight and we still don't know the gender, last night I dreamed it was a little girl, we called her Anna Rose and she had red hair, she was beautiful and she was playing in the swimming pool with Isabella, our first daughter. 

We will know next month, with Isabella I was convinced it was a boy and I was obviously wrong but then I wasn't carrying her, my DW kind of knew it was a girl all the time.

What else? Ah we did the NT scan and we got very good results so I feel more relaxed about it. Sometimes I still find myself praying and worrying that this baby is going to be ok. But then most of the time life takes over and our 2 years old needs me all the time so I cannot really focus on this little one too much, which is a pity because I remember with Isabella we were so into the whole pregnancy journal, belly shots and buying cute clothes. With this one if I get the time to read the notification of what's going on in my belly on the babycentre app it'sa miracle.

We announced the pregnancy last week on FB and Twitter and Instagram, yes, I have all possible apps and I used to be quite connected, I used to...before becoming Miss Pukey, anyway this is what we went with:

We bought the T-shirt from Etsy, here's the link if you are interested.


Mamma V.