All is well

Sorry for disappearing but we've been so busy in the last few days i kept reading and following all your blogs but didn't have any time to post.

We are fine, we are just about to leave Ireland to spend Christmas in Italy with my family and then we will move to Spain for a few months, I will have the baby in Spain and hopefully everything will go as planneed

I had my 28 weeks check last Thiursday and Doc said all is well, my bump is getting big and my ribs are sore if I sit for too long but other than that I'm fine! We are so happy and couldn't be happier. 

I would like to wish you all a lovely Xmas with babies or bumps or a lot of baby dust for next year!

Liebster Blog Award!

Wow! I am honored! I receive this award from the sweet Lexi & Sarah from Ourbabymakingjourney so thank you so much guys! I know you guys are going to be IVFing again any day so here is my wish, I really hope this is your time and that we can be pregnant together ; ) You are going to make a loving family and that's all children need!

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way to acknowledge each other and say "you're doing a great job". It is for blogs with 200 or less followers, so it's also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers!

So now the questions:

1. What is your favorite season and why?

I love them all! I love Winter because I love Christmas and being able to spend time with my family in Italy, I love Spring because seeing all the blossoming reminds me of life and how awesome it is, I love summer because it means holidays in Spain, swimming in the sea and drinking cold beer with tapas and I now love Autumn because of all the amazing colours and because it's my wife's birthday and I love her! 

Since starting my own family I love seasons more because of all the traditions they bring and all the things I can do with my kids, I have lovely memories of my childhood and I will try to give them to my children as well, because that's what life is about isn't it?

2. What is something you cant live without?

I have to admit it, my I-phone. I am addicted to it, I use it for everything, it's great!

3. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

I would love to go traveling with my wife, going away for a few months and see the world, she wanted to do it when we met but I wasn't ready and now I will have to wait until the kids are old enough...

4. If given the ability to change one thing in this world what would you choose?

Honestly, I would like to change the way this world seems to be made for men and for women it has to be a constant fight, especially in some part of this world, I would like the world rape to disappear from this world.

5. Do you have any regrets in life?

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I didn't move away from my family and country but then I realize I would have never met the love of my life and started a family with her ( in Italy lesbians couples have no access to fertility treatment ) So, no, no regrets! 

6. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging because I always loved writing, my first blog was about my life as a gay italian girl in Dublin, Ireland. Then we moved to Rome for a few months and I wrote about that experience and then once back in Ireland I started blogging about our journey to become a family and our daughter's arrival in the world. When I was struggling to get pregnant and I was told I needed to do IVF I did a lot of research and found this amazing strong community of women online writing about how difficult it can be and I immediately felt part of it. So I started this blog, my first in english (I know it's not perfect! ).

7. What is your best trait?

I don't know...I am very organized? I like to have everything under control and I am fast at getting things done.

8. What is your worst trait?

Same as the best, I am a bit of a control freak so if I don't get to organize I find it difficult to just go with the flow...

9. What is your best childhood memory?

Oh I have so many, I love my parents so much, probably one of the best is when going on holidays singing in the car all together. Just being happy.

10. Who are 3 people you would love to have dinner with (living or dead)?

That's a difficult one, I am not a very social person, that's why I write, I don't particularly enjoy chit chat about nothing but I suppose that if I was to have a few drinks I would love to meet:

- Charlie Chaplin I love cinema and I love him, I think he was a genius and an amazing artist

- Kurt Cobain I was a teenager in the 90s and desperately in love with him and his music

- Audrey Hepburn more because I would like to know how she could be so stylish and cute

11. Who is someone you miss?

I miss my mum and my dad and brother in Italy even though when I get to see them for more than a week I just want to run away but I suppose I miss being able to visit them or doing things for them if they needed me.

I miss my sister that lives in Buenos Aires.

I miss my best friends that are now living all over the world.

I suppose I miss how it was when I grew up, so simple and surrounded by people that loved me. I am so lucky to have my own family now and to have them loving me everyday. That's a gift for sure.

So that's it, now you know me a little bit better, I hope I wasn't to emotional or cheesy...you know with the hormone and all! Thank you again Lexi and Sarah, hope you don't mind if I copy your questions for my nominations, I really liked them!

Now onto my Liebster Blog Award nominations!!

1 Growing Griswolds another amazing woman, I hope this will bring you luck!

2 Little one still to come two lovely mamas hoping for a little one, I hope this will bring you luck too!

3 The future Fords She just got her first BFP and I am wishing her all the best and a beautiful baby in 9 months!

4 My TTC obstacle course She overcome all the obstacles and is now 28w pregnant! Yey!

5 Every day is a country song Her story of is incredible, Maria you are a great woman.

6 MissConception  another amazing woman, your story makes me cry every time. I admire your strength everybody should read your blog.

7 A road well travelled we met on the June FET board got pregnant at the same time, she has beautiful twins girls and is now expecting twin boys! You go mama!

I am sorry I don't have 10 but I have a two years old calling me... Gotta go! 

I am so lucky of being part of this amazing community, I love reading you everyday, you are an example of strength and love. Grazie.

Mamma V.

Now here are my questions to all the new Liebster blogger nominees! 

1. What is your favorite season and why?

2. What is something you cant live without?

3. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

4. If given the ability to change one thing in this world what would you choose?

5. Do you have any regrets in life?

6. Why did you start blogging?

7. What is your best trait?

8. What is your worst trait?

9. What is your best childhood memory?

10. Who are 3 people you would love to have dinner with (living or dead)?

11. Who is someone you miss?

Now its your turn new Liebster Blog Award winners, pass the love onto others!!

Ps, if you have been nominated already or if you don't want to answer the questions it's ok! 

Half way and it's a ...

So, here I am, well I should say here we are, feeling better even though still nauseous in the evening but definitely better. 20 weeks, half way through this pregnancy. Wow! How did we do it little one?

We went for our anatomy scan last Thursday. I was so nervous. We were waiting for ages but then a lovely nurse called us. She went through all the little perfect part of your body and reassured me that you looked great! Right on scheduled, actually measuring ahead 20w3d and I was worried my belly was too tiny ; ) At the end she asked us if we wanted to know...we said yes. And...

 It's a BOY!!!

I'm so so happy. I knew from the beginning that only a boy could make me so sick and all them spots there was definitely something masculine growing inside me! DW was hoping for another girl, it would have made things easy perhaps but actually we are now so excited to be dealing with a little boy. I think our daughter is the most precious little girl I've ever met so I'm happy we won't compare her because it's going to be totally different. Because it's a BOY!!!

I think he's smiling at us!

And with this happiness and joy I leave you with a belly shot: 

Happy Halloween everybody!

Still waiting

Yes I am still waiting for the day all the mums are talking about, the one where the nausea magically disappear and the energy comes back and you start to glow etc...ehm. No. 

Not happening here. Even though my allday sickness has definitely improved and now I am only sick in the evening and not as much, I am not puking dinner but I am still kind of queasy : ( I have to admit that I am starting to enjoy cooking again, I am craving spicy indian food and curries so that's what we are eating most of the time. No more spagnettis for a while!

I am still hating meat. I cannot even think about it. I used to be a vegetarian and I started eating meat when trying to get pregnant but since I am now pregnant the though of a steak ...blah. Gross. So I am taking iron tablets and they're great! I got some energy back, bed time is now 10pm instead of 8 ; ) And I can do more stuff during the day.

I am not glowing though, my face is covered in red spots instead. Bloody hormons.

I am still on my antisickness tablets only I cut it to 1 a day instead of 2.

Belly is growing, clothes are getting tight and we still don't know the gender, last night I dreamed it was a little girl, we called her Anna Rose and she had red hair, she was beautiful and she was playing in the swimming pool with Isabella, our first daughter. 

We will know next month, with Isabella I was convinced it was a boy and I was obviously wrong but then I wasn't carrying her, my DW kind of knew it was a girl all the time.

What else? Ah we did the NT scan and we got very good results so I feel more relaxed about it. Sometimes I still find myself praying and worrying that this baby is going to be ok. But then most of the time life takes over and our 2 years old needs me all the time so I cannot really focus on this little one too much, which is a pity because I remember with Isabella we were so into the whole pregnancy journal, belly shots and buying cute clothes. With this one if I get the time to read the notification of what's going on in my belly on the babycentre app it'sa miracle.

We announced the pregnancy last week on FB and Twitter and Instagram, yes, I have all possible apps and I used to be quite connected, I used to...before becoming Miss Pukey, anyway this is what we went with:

We bought the T-shirt from Etsy, here's the link if you are interested.

Love,

Mamma V.

12 weeks today

Everything's good! Or so I hope, I will have my NT scan next week and I am praying for my little one to be ok. We've been in Spain on holiday for the whole month and I have been feling quite miserable even though they gave me antinausea tablets that took away some of my 24/7 morning sickness but still.

Today I am convinced it's not too bad. I'm pretty sure it's because I am hoping that it will decrease now. Pretty please baby. I am so tired of being sick and tired.

I will update more often now that we are back in Ireland, I've so many things to write about, being pregnant, telling people, BO, my hate for Crinone and much more...

Til then here's a picture of when we found out, I'm the one on the right.

The first time I saw you

Today I went for my first u/s. What an amazing little thing you are. I can see you are so beautiful already and I know I gave out a lot but I forgive you for making me feel so sick, if that means you are so perfect that's ok with me.

I saw and heard you heart beating today. So technically I have two hearts now. Yours is so fast, 180 bpm but the Doc said that's good and strong. Yeah baby!

It was all so quick and I was so happy that when it was over I wanted to do it all over again. 

I love you already. Stay with me until around the 14th of March 2012 ok?

Why being pregnant sucks

 WARNING! Hormonal post ahead:

Ok, so I remember when my partner was telling everybody that she wasn't herself because she was pregnant. I get it now. Everybody think that for a woman being pregnant is the most beautiful, romantic feeling ever. For me it's not. And I hope nobody will get offended reading this. I know how lucky I am, I am growing life inside me and it's a miracle and blah blah blah. But the truth is that I am sick. I feel sick and I know I won't feel any better tomorrow, or the following day. This sick feeling is going to stay until al least the end of August if I am lucky. Then I will probably write about how great I feel But in the meantime I am an angry, frustated and 10% version of my former happy self.

I go to the kitchen and cry. I spend all my time in bed. I shut down all friends and family because I cannot face life as I knew it. Because I am sick.

Sorry for this sour post but the truth needs to come out, being pregnant is tough, more than the overdose of hormons of the IVF stimulation and the sore ovaries, more than the Egg Retrieval especially if you have 24/7 morning sickness and you have to listen to Doctors and nurses telling you how there's nothing they can prescribe to make you feel better. But sure not eating or drinking enough cannot be good for my baby can it?

Morning sickness, I hate you.

I love food, I love cooking it and I love eating it, I am italian for God sake! And since last week I can't stand the thought of any food that is not boiled rice or crackers. Yep, that's all I've been eating. Where is the healthy eating gone? Where are the fruits and veg full of goodness for me and my little one? I blame morning sickness, my n. 1 enemy at the moment.

And I'm not even 6 weeks yet! Is it going to stop? Is it going to get worse? 

I am exhausted. And complaining, a lot, which I shouldn't since I wanted this so bad i have to take it and shut up. But in some way I can't think of morning sickness that lasts all day as the baby's fault. So for me, they are two separate things, one I love and one I hate.

My first u/s is in 2 weeks, on the 31st, I can't wait to meet this little one of course!

Dreaming about not feeling sick,

Mamma V.

It looks like I am PREGNANT!

I'm still in shock. I was hoping and praying for this so much that now that it is happening I feel like I am on another planet half of the time!

I went in for my beta yesterday as the happiest person on hearth, I told the nurse I did test earlier in the week and got a positive and she said that a positive hpt on 8dp5dt is pretty good. Yey! When I was leaving I met one of the nurses that was with me since my first cancelled IUI in September 2011, she knows me very well by now and she stopped and smile at me. I knew she knew straight away! She told me she was going to try to get the Lab to ring me back with the result ASAP. I love her.

Funny enough I missed the call. The nurse left a message, I listened to it and she said it was good news and that she would try to ring me later! Who ho! She did ring and told me my beta at 11dp5dt was 574! Holy shit! My first thought after 5 minutes of googleing was TWINS! OMG! We are delighted a bit scared I have to admit but we feel so lucky and if it is twins what do they say? double the fun! And if it is one it's still perfect! 

Now the symptoms. Not much to report, I feel quite tired and need to rest more often than usual, I yawn a lot but then at night I wake up, start thinking and cannot go back to sleep until it's time to get up. Uff... I am definitly eating more, enjoying my food and try to eat healthy stuff. No coffee, no coke and no alcohol. I had some kind of very very mild nausea but if I eat it goes away starght away.

So far so good, my wife and daughter are over the moon and kiss my belly whenever they can. I know it's still early stages, we keep saying 'if everything goes well...' I really hope it will, meanwhile I want yo enjoy every second of this miracle. (or miracles!)

I did it!

And i'm so happy!!! I got a BFP on a FRER! It feels so good, I really hope all will go well, welcome on board little one!