Quick update

While all the blogmamas I read are having their babies or getting pregnant which by the way it's great, I'm still here, at 36 weeks, tired, anxious and complaining. 

I have to say I can't wait for this baby to be out in the world, being pregnant it's not my thing, I didn't know it before, now I do. I am such an anxious and sometimes weak person to go through all this on my own, because that's how I feel. Until this baby is with me I feel like the only one responsable and that scare the s*** out of me.

Now with the real update, went for my 36w scan, baby is fine, still huge head, off the charts, still with some fluid in one of his kidneys, my poor boy, fluid is now 16mm so they want to see me at 37w and then decide what to do. They might induce me then. 

I have to say I will be happy to be induced at this point, I want to see this baby and make sure he is healthy and if he needs anything the Doctors can look after him in a way I know I cant. They told me they will monitor his kidney once he is out so we will see. The good news is that his other kidney is fine hurray! Plus I have to say that if the head keeps growing it probably won't fit through the birth canal. Scary shit. So here's for a short and painless induced labour and a happy healthy baby boy!

I can't wait to meet him, see what he looks like and start this new adventure together with my beautiful daughter and my amazing wife.

Picking oranges with my daughter. Love Spain.

Headaches and bad mood

I know the title is not really positive but just to let you know today I am actually doing ok, the past fews day I woke up with a headache and went to bed with an headache, It has been quite a nightmare, I also felt really tired all the time and every little thing was annoying me. Side effect of the Buserelin injections apparently.

On top of all that today was my first u/s to check my lining and my ovaries. They left me in the waiting room for so long I was going to ask them if I could leave I was so mad at them. (bad mood is another side effect of Buserelin). Finally the nurse called me in, she was the one the was looking after me when I had OHSS so she was delighted to see me. I was too nervous to even smile.

First she checked my lining and said it looked good. Yey! Then she went on my right ovary and found some fluid near it. I felt sick, oh no I thought, but then she went on saying it was ok, nothing to worry about. She also found a 10mm follicle probably leftover from IVF#1. Then she went on my left and I was really worried because for the past 2 days I had a pain in my right ovary but she said everything looked fine! Oh, what a relief!

So today I started my Estrofem and Aspirin and from tomorrow I will reduce the Buserelin from 0.5 to 0.3, hopefully that means less side effects.

I will go back next thursday for another u/s, the countdown has officially started. 19 days till my FET. I can't wait!!!

and we have a FET plan.

Great! I'm so excited finally the nurse from the clinic rang this morning with dates for my FET cycle. So I will be on the pill until the beginning of June and will start injections (don't remember the name) on the 28 May for 3 weeks the I will have 3 ultrasound in the middle of June and if everything looks good I will have the transfer on the 26 June!!!

Now finger crossed everything will go well. I am happy because there is definitely less medications, less pressure, less work for my poor ovaries. I just have to hope my body is ready for my little embryos and that they will thaw ok and grow.

After ER I had 13 embryos frozen on day 1. So the nurse told me they will thaw all of them and grow them hopefully to day 5. Then they will choose the best 2 and tranfer them. I can't wait to have them back.

What are your thoughts on 2 slash 1 embryo transfer? At my clinic they like to tranfer 2 at a time because they say there is more probability of success. I wasn't sure and I wanted to talk to the embryologist about tranferring only 1 considering that it is my first transfer and apparently I don't have any fertility issue (just bad luck) but after reading about it and talking to DW I decided to go for 2 embryos tranfer. 

If we have twins it means it was meant to be. If we get pregnant with one we will be as happy. I have to say twins kind of scare me, we are living abroad, our family are far and so we don't get much support but I guess we will have to manage! I always wanted a big family anyway ; )

Well all this "if" I get pregnant...

Positive thinking. Positive thinking. Positive Thinking. 

I should start meditation.